If you’re having relationship problems, it may be a good idea to get down to basics and check in with your relationship values, and consequently boundaries.
2020 is a year that shook all of us. What I hear from clients is:
‘Nothing makes sense.’
This statement, and feeling, creates a level of uncertainty in our personal and professional lives. Unsurprisingly, this creates problems in relationships- or issues that may have been masked by ‘normal life’ are now exposed.
So what can you do if you find yourself struggling in your relationship?
Firstly, write down your relationship values. Ask yourself:
What kind of partner/ husband do I want to be?
What qualities do I need in my relationship?
You may want to list you value honesty, trust, clear communication, quality time spent with a partner.
Next, write down your boundaries.
These can be along the lines of:
‘I am going to see my friends as I need to have my own life outside my relationship.’
‘I need to be responsible for my own happiness, and not expect my partner to make me happy.’
Now, compare your values with your boundaries. Do they align together? Are they contradicting each other? Where could you make changes?
While values are what we carry within us since early childhood, boundaries are more flexible. They can indeed change as we enter a romantic relationship and that is fine. As long as they still respect and align with your values, and make you happy, boundaries can be adjusted.
*If you feel you’d benefit from relationship coaching, please book a complimentary consultation today: