1. We might not be married by the time we reach our thirties, as we firmly believed we would be in our twenties (and assured all around us of it). All this ‘time’ we had suddenly seemed to go God knows where. Yes, it’s likely we are still looking for ‘the one’ in our thirties.
2. Family visits become a dreaded task, as we are met with constant pressure from parents/ siblings/ unties and uncles to be ‘off the shelf’. No, we don’t like the question: ‘Are you seeing anyone YET?’ in our thirties! And you know what- even though you look happy and cosy with your husband, we still get to date! (which is NOT always a good thing, admittedly).
3. We might not have children either. Somehow we STILL didn’t get around to it. Why can’t people around us just deal with it? Yes, we do toy around with the idea to adopt/ pop into a sperm bank/ steal a baby from a random someone when our hormones ‘go through the roof’, but when we are calm and relaxed, we are fine about it! Why can’t you be? And so what if we are to be found in the park some afternoons, staring longingly at cute kids playing in the sand? We like fresh air and exercise- that was the main reason for getting this puppy!
4. We still fancy/ just started fancying younger guys again. Yep, we are now eyeing up guys that would be seen as ‘too young and immature’ in our twenties. Surprisingly, NOW is the time to date them. That was a revelation to us too. So deal with it. And actually, somehow they just happen to be more appealing than our own generation. They are relaxed about life in general, they still have hope and they don’t doubt or look for ‘double meaning’ in everything we say. Oh, and they have no or very little baggage (although we carry more than enough for both of us- but they don’t care!). So what’s not to like?
We know full well there’s no future with a guy 10 years our junior, but we don’t care at that point in time. We get to stare at cute, wrinkle-free faces and bulging muscles over a coffee date (that he didn’t really fancy anyway- he preferred drinks late at night). However, we keep our radar on for ‘the one’ at all times- meaning our own age, of course. And when he does knock on our door, we’ll be ready.
5. We have to work out twice as hard as we did in our twenties to maintain any sort of shape. And yes, we are grateful for ANY shape we can make out of this moulds that we’ve become.We already cut down from 3 cornettos a day to 2, but that tummy of ours is STILL hard to shift! What else can we do? That 20-something girl in marketing has flat tummy while scoffing sweets constantly- where is the justice in that? And that’s not even mentioning PMT bloating time of the month when the only solution is STAYING IN HIDING until it goes away!
6. We are masters at first dates. We have had so many by now, we are calm and relaxed sitting next to the nervous wrecks that are presented as our dates. We have already sat through ‘one-man show’ kind of guy, ‘girls throw themselves at me’ idiot, and ‘I really am 30’ when clearly he’s 50, to mention just a few. Nothing can surprise us any more. We just smile and head over to Tinder to find another match, hoping for a better luck next time. (yes, we are clued up on the newest apps!)
7. If it hits midnight on our date and you grumble that you didn’t count on an ‘early night’ when we announce we want to go to bed, well, it probably wasn’t going to work out anyway! Yes, we love our sleep! And how on earth have you missed that yawn we were trying to hide an hour ago?
8. We might not wake up with clear complexion and ‘tussled, sexy hair look’ like we used to in our heydays, but give us 15 minutes and we will look awesome again. So just be patient with us. Plus we have all that life experience to the boot. And best of all, we are comfortable in our own skin, not insecure like we were during our twenties!